and non-gilda lily two,if that floats your boat
Hello, Gilda Lily, and welcome to the Gilda Lily Expose Sit-Down Potpourri Roundtable Jamboree.
I'm interviewing friends for an update to my badwebsite - the theme of which is me interviewing friends.
Please answer the following questions to the best of your ability, and try not to use large words, most of the people reading this will not understand them.
Gilda, my love- How are you today? Or -- is it night-time where you are?
(NOTE TO JEALOUS GALS: gilida lil is British, and they call EVERYONE "love." so, just calm down.)
GILDA LILY: I’M WELL, THANK YOU. IT’S 9.30am ON MONDAY, IN THE UK. OUR CLOCKS WENT FORWARD AT THE WEEKEND SO I’VE LOST A PRECIOUS HOUR. I'M AT WORK AND AM BEING INTERVIEWED BY THE OWNER OF THE BADWEBSITE INSTEAD OF WORKING. IT'S MORE FUN.
Well, thank you, Gilda Lily, my succulent little honey-pot.
I'm going to pretend I don't know you, and ask you things now -- That's how we do interviews in the states.
GILDA LILY. What's it mean...?
GILDA LILY: IT MEANS THAT I LIKE TO EMBELLISH FLASHY, CHEAP TAT WITH JEWELS AND SEQUINS THEREBY MAKING IT EVEN MORE FLASHY AND GLITZY – GILDING THE LILY, SO TO SPEAK.
THE ACTUAL QUOTE IS “PAINT THE LILY” - HERE IS THE FULL QUOTE IF ANYONE’S INTERESTED:
"To gild refined gold, to paint the lily, To throw a perfume on the violet, To smooth the ice, or add another hue Unto the rainbow, or with taper-light To seek the beauteous eye of heaven to garnish, Is wasteful and ridiculous excess" (King John Act 4, scene 2)
Say, did I leave a pair of trousers at your place?
I just woke up, I'm missing a pair of trousers.
Burgandy. Button-fly.
GILDA LILY: YOU SPELT “BURGUNDY” WRONG!
I was using the americanized spelling.
...Well, let me know if they turn up, would you?
GILDA LILY: DO YOU WEAR TROUSERS WITH TURN-UPS? THAT’S WHAT WE CALL ‘EM IN THE UK… I THINK YOU AMERICANS CALL ‘EM “CUFFS”!
Thank you, Gilda Lil, for giving me lessons on speaking american.
If they SHOW UP, or MATERIALIZE, or MANIFEST, would you let me know please? I'm missing a pair.
And I woke up this morning in a plant. Do you know anything about that? That you'd admit to? ...Big leafy shrub, with spikes?
GILDA LILY: No.
I see... Well, you're quite the artist, Gilda Lily, you make very lovely art, I'm using photos of some on this page matter of fact, and I want to talk to you about your art. But first --
You run contests, as do I, only people like yours more.
GILDA LILY: ...Yes?
Your CAPTION GAME.
GILDA LILY: MY CAPTION GAME! I GOT THE IDEA FROM THOSE SPOOF RETRO GREETINGS CARDS.
REMEMBER MR. MUSTAGUIRE, FROM GAME 2?
THESE WERE YOUR CAPTIONS:
“happypants mustaguire: man of intrigue, the pleats of doom, i can feel my thigh and nobody knows!, tennis? sorry chap- dirties the cuffs, the man with the golden gusset, Help! I can't get out of the sweater!, i'm gilda-lily's manservant -- now, who the hell are YOU??, number 881: we don't know what it means either, carnage at hanging rock, you call that posing -- THIS is a POSE!, well hello swinton old boy. fancy a sniffle?, heathrow and the v-necked stranger, ladies knickers: that's why i smile, i've been standing so long, i can't feel my legs, Kudos? What's a Kudo?....”
IT’S RAMBLING … BUT VERY FUNNY! I LAUGHED OUT LOUD – SPECIALLY AT THE “I’M GILD~A~LILY’S MANSERVANT” – OOHAHAHA!
What do you mean -- RAMBLING...?
GILDA LILY: I LUV YOUR GAMES! YOU HAVE A VERY CRYPTIC WAY OF THINKING, THOUGH, THAT COMPLETELY BAMBOOZLES ME SOMETIMES. BUT I DO LOVE A CHALLENGE …
What do you mean -- RAMBLING...?
GILDA LILY: AND YOUR BADWEBSITE IS BRILLIANT – KEEP IT GOING! I ADORE THE “ERROR MESSAGES”, ESPECIALLY THE JAPANESE HAIKU ONES! MADNESS!! AS FOR TINKYWINKY – I STILL GET NIGHTMARES ABOUT THE TELLYTUBBIES – WHEN MY DAUGHTER WAS REALLY LITTLE, I MADE THE MISTAKE OF VIDEOTAPING SEVERAL EPISODES AND WE HAD TO WATCH THEM OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN. IT’S NO WONDER I’VE GOT GREYING HAIR!
I don't ramble -- I "Transition."
Say, how do you brits like us yanks...?
If I came to visit you, would there be trouble, you know, if the locals discovered I was americano -- would they spit?
GILDA LILY: The Brits have BECOME American - especially on the TV - we have adverts (commercials) every 5 minutes!
Not a very good answer, I know, but my brain's gone on holiday today - probably to America!
Say: what do you make of this online business generally?
Are we making worthwhile friendships -- or is it just a bunch of middle-aged men pretending to be lesbians, to get gals to Hot Chat them?
That goes on, you know. (I've READ about it.)
GILDA LILY: I’M GETTING TO KNOW A FEW PEOPLE QUITE WELL – AT LEAST GETTING TO KNOW THE BITS THAT THEY WANT ME TO! IT’S EASY TO HIDE BEHIND A MASK ON THE COMPUTER.
I HAVEN’T HAD ANY BAD EXPERIENCES, UNLESS YOU COUNT THE MARRIAGE PROPOSALS FROM MEN IN AFRICA!
Just say no. That's what I do.
Listen -- I've got to run out for a bit.
ERRANDS.
If you wouldn't mind -- could you write a little?
Anything. About where you live, the art, whatever you want.
When I get back, I'll punch it up, it will be great.
Thanks.
Let me know if you find my trousers.
Hugs and Kisses,
Your Little Tiger
GILDA LILY: CAN’T THINK OF ANYTHING AT THE MOMENT. YOU’VE PROBABLY GOT ENOUGH FROM ME ANYHOW! BUT IF YOU THINK OF ANY MORE QUESTIONS, FEEL FREE TO ASK!!
THIS WAS FUN!!
gilda lily expose
from across the pond - gilda!
a gilda lily tell-all
